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Genuinely Blogging Again

January 25, 2010 by lorimercer

I’m back thanks to some crazy connections via Facebook friends of friends who probably have no clue how they just inspired me to get back in the blogging game.

A quick catch up……I still feel incredibly blessed and touched by the hand of God.  I do “have it all” in my life and so passionately want to see other working mom’s out there feeling the same way.

Now here’s my disclaimer…….I can’t promise consistency, or entertainment, or anything for that matter because this blog seems to most naturally be a brain dump of me.  But I’m ready to get back in the groove and start blogging again……guilt free about the frequency!

First of all, major life changes going on.   Yes, I have a new business launched (snaggitz.com) and everyone says you MUST blog if you own a business.  However I have hesitated on that and do NOT want to blog just to drive traffic to my website.   That is so cheesy, superficial, artificial and not authentic.   I have a need for there to be purpose and value in what I’m blogging.  That what I’m trying to say needs to come passionately screaming out of me because God has a plan for it to leave some little mark somewhere in the world.  Otherwise its just a contribution to the gigantic landfill of information that on my more cynical days, I feel like I find on the internet.

So don’t expect to see a daily blog or a Monday blog or a first of the month blog.   I’ve tried those plans and they get off track and disappoint others and myself.  What I pray will never disappoint is the delivery of an important message…….to someone out there only God knows who!     I am praying for the discernment and guidance that what is laid on my heart and mind will be valuably blog-able.

So happy to be back.  So much to say.  Where to begin???   Bear with me as I get to not just brain dump but heart and soul dump where the past year has taken me and back again.    Oh yeah, and lots of fun navigating the road bumps of an internet start up.

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You are still here???

June 12, 2009 by lorimercer

Despite my complete lack of posts, I continue to get comments and notes from readers who enjoy this site.   THANK YOU!! As a person who tends to be hard on myself about things that I can’t do “perfect”, I appreciate that what little I have done here is still helpful to so many.

I am still formulating where to go with this blog.  Thoughts rattle around in my brain like “Why blog?“  “Am I trying to make money?” (Because that’s certainly not happening here!)   “Am I trying to establish more credibility?”  “Could blogging, speaking, writing, be a viable direction for me as a full time gig?”  The internet makes all of this so available these days.  And there are so many options!!!!

How do we cut through all the noise, all the words, blogs, websites, tweets, facebooks, photos and videos?  (I don’t even mention email because its not the first place I look anymore!)   How do we get back to focused purpose and direction?  (and still have fun of course…..I don’t mean to be all serious :~)

I don’t want to be just another noise making blog. I want to be sure that the words I share are valuable and not contributing to the landfill of pointless information that is online.

Readers…..please send me your ideas on this topic.  What do you want to see?  How can I support, encourage, inform, add value to your lives????

Hypocritically, I eargerly await your replies………..and thank you again for your patience as this blog/business/brain slowly takes form.

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It’s been almost a year since my last real post….

April 4, 2009 by lorimercer

…..stay tuned. A year does a lot to my brain. It also takes time to “have it all” and decide exactly how I’m going to convey that to the world in a way that is helpful and valuable.
Here’s a big clue…..the only reason I know I have it all, is because of my faith in God. No matter what happens, He is my refuge and provider.
Keep on striving for your best in life.

PS – Lovin’ all the new WordPress features since my last login!!!!!

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Busy “Having it all”

October 12, 2008 by lorimercer

Stay tuned……this summer I’ve been busy “having it all”……on the beach with the family, in Europe for work and in lots of airplanes and airports with all kinds of interesting people……details coming soon on how this working mom manages a transition onto a new global project with a boss and project team who are one gigantic ocean and 6 time zones away.

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Happy Mothers Day to Supermoms Everywhere

May 9, 2008 by lorimercer

Every Mom is a SUPERMOM! Sacrificing your body, your sanity, your cleaning standards, your hobbies and oh yes, your privacy in the bathroom.

I believe it is the most important job you will ever do in your life. As moms we have the ability to feed and grow a human mind and heart. One person at a time (or 4 in my case!) is how we make a difference in the world.

Here are some of my favorite little things that give the appearance of a true “Supermom” to my little tykes:

- Letting them play out in the rain and get as wet and muddy as they want

- Allowing their favorite articial rubbery fruit snack of the month when its our turn to bring snack to soccer

- Staying up late to finish a movie that goes past bedtime

- Sneaking a piece of chocolate together during the baby’s naptime

- Drawing the world’s biggest chalk mural all over our driveway on the first day of spring

- Skipping dinner clean up to get back outside and enjoy the late sunshine on summer evenings

- Taking turns to sleep with Mommy on nights that Daddy is at work

Hearing I’m the “Best Mom Ever” is the biggest paycheck I’ll ever receive in my life.

(Check back in 10 years from now when they are 4 teenagers :)

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Having Your Cake and Eating It Too

April 28, 2008 by lorimercer

I like my job. Yes, its true and hard to understand for so many people who are in jobs they hate. I enjoy the people I work with. My team. My boss. My company atmosphere. My projects. And I do like the work I do day to day. How it helps me grow as a person and truly makes a difference in the world, even if just in the day to day interactions I have with people. I even don’t mind the occasional travel I have to do.

But at the end of a working day, or at a break time, or during lunch time, what I want most is my family. I want to hear my husband’s voice. Hear about what the kids have been doing. Share some good news or vent a frustration that only someone close to you can understand.

I can only love my job because the focus I put on my job to do it well, does not outweigh the focus I put on my marriage and family. Doing what I’m good at in my career is a purpose in my life. God gave me these talents to share with the world. As well, he gave me the best purpose in life which is to love and honor my marriage and together with my husband raise our children. And of course the ultimate purpose in life is to love and worship God. I can worship Him best by most fully utilizing these wondrous gifts he gave me. For me this means working and having a family.

But when work takes over my life, no matter how much I know it is one of my purposes in life, I hate it. Too much of the late meetings. Early AM conference calls to Europe. Late night conference calls to Asia. Working lunches. 12 hour days. More than 40 hour weeks. That’s when work takes over life and the balance becomes a problem. Funny how when life/family take over my life, I don’t wish I was working more!

On a recent trip to Europe for work, we had very long working days and even longer evening durings filled with ‘team camaraderie’. I really enjoyed beating around the challenging business problems during the day. And sharing a friendly meal and taking in the country culture is fine too. But when every second is filled with work and/or work people, I burn out so quickly. At those times, all I want to do is go home and be with my family. Tuck everyone in and sleep in my own bed next to my husband. And when my work takes over, my family is unhappy too. My husband feels too much of the burden of taking care of the kids and the kids act out against the babysitter and misbehave more often. I hate that feeling.

So when I get home late on Friday night, after having been gone all week, I completely turn off work and focus solely on my family. Look my kids in the eye and give them my full attention when they speak to me. Plan fun activities for us all to do together. Just be with them.

It works the other way too. When family life gets out of control, work suffers. Sick kids. The busy season at the end of the school year where soccer and softball overlap, school programs add to the evening chaos and scouts are coming to a close. Or even just an argument that weighs on my mind and my heart can really get in the way of my focus on my job.

In those moments, I can feel like throwing up my hands and giving it all up. But then the storm calms and life gets back in balance.

It’s important to remind ourselves to not surrender in the storms. Wait them out with patience and endurance. When they are over, your job will still be there. With the right balance, you can have it all, the best of both worlds. You can have your cake AND eat it too!

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Who’s on your team?

March 17, 2008 by lorimercer

We were not created to live in isolation. We are not expected to do things on our own. We cannot deliver as much by ourselves as we can with others.

We can only move mountains when we have a large team pushing in the same direction.

We need people to go in front of us to show us the way. Mentors, coaches, leaders. Who are the leaders you look to in each of the areas of your life? In your job? In parenting? In starting or running your own business? In living a Godly life? In being balanced and happy?

We need people to stand beside us. Trusted friends and acquaintances who will listen to us vent. Give the difficult advice we don’t want to hear. And hold us accountable to our goals.  Spouses and business partners who believe in our dreams and do not talk us down.

We need people to follow us. To divide up the tasks that need to be done to achieve the goals. To believe in the mission and share in the challenge. If you are the PTA President, you need financial minds, organizers, communicators and do-ers to really meet the goals of your organization.  If you are the President of a company, it should be obvious.  If you are self-employed, you need clients who will trust you with your product or service.  And even if you work in an environment where you do not have any direct reports, there are moments where you are the leader and need people to follow your lead in getting a job done.

We are not in this alone.

If you feel called to a large mission to change the world in your specific niche, whether that is a neighborhood block watch or the search for a cure for cancer, you cannot do it alone.

What happens when you choose the wrong people?   It can make you so ineffective.  A team member that needs more hand holding consumes a lot of time.  You are only as strong as your weakest link.  Hiring decisions are the most important ones you can make.  Being too careful is not a concern.  Interview and do your due diligence and be ready to make the hard call, say no, and trust that someone else is going to be led into your life for that position.

What happens when the wrong people choose you?  Customers!  Can’t live with them.  Can’t live without them.  There are customers who are more difficult and painful than others and you certainly just wish they would go away.  Take inventory occasionally of your customers.  Who are your most profitable customers and why?  More than likely, the difficult customers either don’t know exactly what they want or your product or service does not match up exactly to their needs.  Spending time to get to the bottom of this and telling them you cannot provide a solution for them may be the best business move you ever make.   And how about in direct sales when you have a new associate join your team.  It is strictly their decision to start their own new business.  And teaching them to be empowered is key to everyone’s success.  Some associates require more support than others but realistically, if they cannot do the job on their own, will they ever be the leader of a strong downline of their own?

What about conflict amongst the team?  Everyone needs to ‘push in the same direction’.  Conflict within the team can bring everything to a grinding halt.  Sharpening your listening, motivating and negotiating skills is required to get beyond these challenges.  Are you communicating your vision clearly enough for all to understand?  Are the roles carved out in a way that does not compete with each other?  Are the team members rational, stable, supportive and not limited by their own issues or beliefs?

What happens when your spouse is not on your team?  I cannot even begin to go there in this blog post as that is a deep, deep subject.  But certainly if your spouse is not on your team, it presents an enormous set of challenges towards your mission.

People decisions are the most difficult you will ever make.   So choose carefully whom you decide to keep close by your side.   And take the time to cement those relationships so they stand through the thick and thin.  In the end, relationships are what really matter.

Who is on your team?

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Now on a new host

March 6, 2008 by lorimercer

Welcome to my new “How We Can Have It All” website.  I just moved to a new host that gives me much more functionality.  So for anyone who was subscribed to my blog under the previous site, you will need to re-subscribe.  I will be adding a form for you to do so in the next few days.

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Is your life running you ragged?

March 3, 2008 by lorimercer

Last month I attended a luncheon discussing Work-Life balance with a business networking group here in Columbus. We started off our discussion with a little self-assessment. You can find it here at this blog on WebMD.

As I completed the self-assessment, I was actually pleased. My results weren’t bad. In general, I am very happy with what I have going on in my life.I like my house and my job(s). I don’t dread getting up and I don’t even dread Mondays. I have a hobby (that also happens to be my business). I like my friends and social circle (I have friends!) Most of them don’t blog so I can’t link to them.

But nothing is perfect and I haven’t figured out how to put 48 hours into a day yet :) So I found myself falling short in a few areas. Here is how I rationalized them:

  • Sleep. Hmmm. Well I’ve been short in the sleep category since my first child was born in the year 2000. But I don’t really see this as a problem. When I’m working on what I love, I don’t feel a desire to sleep in until even 8 am. I want to get up and get cracking. And I am the kind of person that can fully function on 5-6 hours a night. Actually, I didn’t even start the bad caffeine habit until a couple months ago. So I rationalize the sleep deficiency in this way…….I never artificially stimulate past 8 pm when I’m too tired to keep my eyes open. Health is important. I see my thirties as the ‘work horse years’. With young children, God just kind of designed us to be strong and resilient to be able to get up in the middle of the night all the time. And although I don’t feel like I’m on a downhill slide health wise, I know that once I reach my 40’s and 50’s I won’t have the energy I do now. So, can I sacrifice a little sleep to keep working on my dreams now? That’s my rationalization. And hats off to all those other moms that I’m conference calling, emailing, blogging and chatting with past 9 PM EST.
  • Vacations. Traveling with young children is NOT a vacation for Mom’s. The only way I’ve found to pull this off is to take 2 weeks and to go somewhere beautiful that you just stay put. For instance, the very remote 160 acre property in upstate NY we vacationed last year. We packed the minivan AND loaded a trailer to pull behind. And we leisurely explored the nooks and crannies of nature. Three years ago, we did the same thing in San Diego in a cottage on Mission Beach where we did nothing but play in the sand and water and go to the grocery occasionally. But you see, it takes me a couple years to rev up to one of those big adventures. So in between, I like to take my vacations in bite size portions. A Friday off here and there. A half day in the morning when school has late-start so we can have a family breakfast together.
    minivan vacation
  • Silence. Guilty as charged here. I just can’t sit still and focus. It’s impossible with my multi-tasking mind. Even with my car time these days I feel lost if I don’t have at least 3 phone calls to return.
  • Clutter. Can you find everything you need? Is it clean? Then do we care so much about clutter? Not me :) I do have standards in place in the high traffic areas and teach my kids (and husband and babysitter!) to meet these standards. With 7 people in our house, that’s the only way. But organization of my personal office is no where on the priority list. The important stuff is organized but everything else gets piled and looked at on occasion when I’m in the mood. We can’t be everything right? And life goes on with my clutter.
  • Quality Time with Children and Loved Ones. This is the biggy. Do you ever feel like you have enough? Even if I never worked, would there be enough time to spend with each of my loved ones to be sure they know how much I love them and to “train them up in the way they should go” according to Biblical scripture? How do you know you are doing enough? This is a constant point of re-assessment. Some days require more time. Some days require more profound statements and conversation and listening skills. Some days require more play. Some days just require time! As we approach the 1 year birthday of my daughter and I see her go from rolling to crawling to pulling herself up and walking around furniture, I realize over and over and over again how fast it goes. And if I don’t make a change today towards more time with my family, I will miss all of it.

What does your assessment look like? If there is something that doesn’t feel right, make a change today. If you had answered this list 1 year ago, would your answers have been different? What kind of answers do you want to give 6 months or 12 months from now? What changes do you need to make to get there?

Posted in Life, Parenting, Self-Growth, Work-Life Balance | Leave a Comment »

Life Stands Still

February 15, 2008 by lorimercer

For the next 5 days, every single event, task or appointment that was scheduled in our busy family of 6 has been cancelled or postponed. No blog posts, emails, sales transactions, meetings, workshops, coaching sessions, dentist appointments, boyscouts, dance, school, work, Saturday morning chores and laundry, birthday parties, church, reading and sorting mail, homework, bible study or conference calls. Essentially our life as we know it is coming to a stand still to honor another life that has come to a stand still. My husbands grandfather has passed away. In his 80’s and battling some serious medical conditions for the past few years, we knew the day would arrive sooner than later.Death is cause for much reflection on the life of the deceased as well as your own life.

Is my life really coming to a stand still because we are heading out of town, unexpectedly for 5 days to a really remote area of upstate New York without reliable cell phone access and no internet coverage?

No way! It is so sad to me that those thoughts even cross my mind in this moment of our life when we take time to reflect and honor the life of a loved one. It is at these junctures that life really continues to grow and blossom and move forward and we find new meaning in the menial tasks that fill each of our days.

Life is about the people, the relationships, the emotions we share, the blessings we give and the blessings we receive. Yes, many times in today’s day and age these things happen over email and blogposts and conference calls and text messages. But even without those convenient tools at our disposal, life does not stand still. Love doesn’t stop. Grieving doesn’t stop. Anger doesn’t stop. And life certainly doesn’t stop because all the events we had planned for the next 5 days will happen without us.

It is during these next 5 days that we do the most important and purposeful job here on this earth. We strengthen our family bonds and instill core values into our children as we reflect on the life of Grandpa. He exhibited a strong work ethic. Providing for your family. Humor. The importance of lifelong friendships. Surviving long, dangerous snowbelt winters with 72 inches of snow. Leaving a legacy for his children’s children. We honor, commemorate, grieve and rejoice the blessing he was to his family, employees, co-workers, friends and anyone who crossed his path. And certainly we will all chuckle and reflect on some of those moments when the firey Scottish redhead, who’s name is known all over the small county in the middle of nowhere New York that he lived his life, was not always the ‘blessing’ we wanted to receive

Grandpa’s life has come to a stand still. And I trust that he is now at peace and rejoicing with Grandma and reflecting on 80+ years of a life that truly did leave an impact.

If you do not wake from your sleep tomorrow, what impact has your life left on this earth? Have you left the legacy you want to leave for your children’s children? Have you fully exhausted your God-given talents and glorified the Lord with your daily tasks? Are you doing what you want to do with your life?

I think it’s said best in the words of this Rascal Flatts song (http://www.metrolyrics.com/my-wish-lyrics-rascal-flatts.html):

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

Or maybe said in another way from the song “Legacy” by Nicole Nordemann:

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, “Well Done” good and faithful one…

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

Remember Grandpa “Red” McGregor and let his passing be an opportunity for you to reflect on your life.

Are you living the life you dream of? Are you going after goals that will make this world a better place? There’s a reason those burdens were placed on YOUR heart, you know. Because you were designed with the ability to accomplish them.
Are you taking steps towards those goals? It can all be taken away tomorrow, at God’s discretion and will you be able to face Him and hear him say “Well done”?

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