How We Can Have It All

I like my job. Yes, its true and hard to understand for so many people who are in jobs they hate. I enjoy the people I work with. My team. My boss. My company atmosphere. My projects. And I do like the work I do day to day. How it helps me grow as a person and truly makes a difference in the world, even if just in the day to day interactions I have with people. I even don’t mind the occasional travel I have to do.

But at the end of a working day, or at a break time, or during lunch time, what I want most is my family. I want to hear my husband’s voice. Hear about what the kids have been doing. Share some good news or vent a frustration that only someone close to you can understand.

I can only love my job because the focus I put on my job to do it well, does not outweigh the focus I put on my marriage and family. Doing what I’m good at in my career is a purpose in my life. God gave me these talents to share with the world. As well, he gave me the best purpose in life which is to love and honor my marriage and together with my husband raise our children. And of course the ultimate purpose in life is to love and worship God. I can worship Him best by most fully utilizing these wondrous gifts he gave me. For me this means working and having a family.

But when work takes over my life, no matter how much I know it is one of my purposes in life, I hate it. Too much of the late meetings. Early AM conference calls to Europe. Late night conference calls to Asia. Working lunches. 12 hour days. More than 40 hour weeks. That’s when work takes over life and the balance becomes a problem. Funny how when life/family take over my life, I don’t wish I was working more!

On a recent trip to Europe for work, we had very long working days and even longer evening durings filled with ‘team camaraderie’. I really enjoyed beating around the challenging business problems during the day. And sharing a friendly meal and taking in the country culture is fine too. But when every second is filled with work and/or work people, I burn out so quickly. At those times, all I want to do is go home and be with my family. Tuck everyone in and sleep in my own bed next to my husband. And when my work takes over, my family is unhappy too. My husband feels too much of the burden of taking care of the kids and the kids act out against the babysitter and misbehave more often. I hate that feeling.

So when I get home late on Friday night, after having been gone all week, I completely turn off work and focus solely on my family. Look my kids in the eye and give them my full attention when they speak to me. Plan fun activities for us all to do together. Just be with them.

It works the other way too. When family life gets out of control, work suffers. Sick kids. The busy season at the end of the school year where soccer and softball overlap, school programs add to the evening chaos and scouts are coming to a close. Or even just an argument that weighs on my mind and my heart can really get in the way of my focus on my job.

In those moments, I can feel like throwing up my hands and giving it all up. But then the storm calms and life gets back in balance.

It’s important to remind ourselves to not surrender in the storms. Wait them out with patience and endurance. When they are over, your job will still be there. With the right balance, you can have it all, the best of both worlds. You can have your cake AND eat it too!